Category Archive:behavior

Implementing Discipline Measures To Your Kids Doesn’t Have To Be Violent ( Momimhar posted on October 26th, 2015 )

A week ago or so, a big chaos arose one evening at my younger sister’s household.  My sister was very furious when she learned that her daughter lost another cellphone – the second cellphone bought for her, to be specific.  That was the second incident my niece lost her cellphone and she said someone must-have stole it in school.  My niece is a freshman college student.  Anyway, so my sister got very angry.  When her daughter got home that evening from school and told her about the lost cellphone, well, my sister has gone violent.  In short, she hit her daughter.  She was unreasonably mad about the cellphones got stolen.  She was more concerned about the amount she spent on those s****d cellphones.  She was mad that her daughter’s not valuing the importance of everything given to her, that she is not seeing her studying her lessons and not updating her about what’s going on in school, that she’s trying to do her best to give everything to her kids even though their budget is very tight.  These were my sister’s sentiments towards her daughter that lead to hitting.

As usual, the ‘curious’ neighbors went outside their homes to see what was happening. According to my cousin’s wife, my sister was throwing things at her daughter including glasses.  My parents didn’t know about it until my cousin’s wife sent a text message to my mother telling them what’s going on.  They lived about three miles away from my sister’s house.  My cousin’s wife tried to get my niece out of the house and immediately took her to my parents’.

I was very upset when I learned about what happened.  My sister told me first and she said she have decided not to enroll my niece in the next semester to teach her a lesson.  I know they have a financial crisis but is that reasonable or not?  Then I called our mom last weekend and she told me that my niece has a few bruises.  You know, I felt sorry for my niece.  I am sure she didn’t mean to lose the cellphones.  If my niece was like other teens, she could have run away and not come home.  That could be a bigger problem.  I talked to her and she said she still wants to go to school next semester.  My niece was embarrassed and humiliated.  She trusted her classmates so much yet one of them betrayed her.  We are pretty sure whoever stole her first cellphone is the same person took the second one.

My sister is a good person but sometimes she becomes unreasonable when things get complicated and out of hand.  Her husband is currently working abroad yet they don’t receive enough budget for the household and for the kids’ school needs.  She is doing the parenting responsibility all by herself for the last four years.

As of the moment, my niece is at my parents’.  I told my sister she’ll stay there for a while because things are still in heat.  Plus, if I was in my niece’s situation, it will take time for me to go back to my neighborhood after what happened that evening.  They have to realize things. But even if they realized their mistakes, what now?  Feelings were hurt.  Trust was broken.

Then I read my mom’s message this morning that my niece’s classmate will meet up in school to return the cellphone.  That b***h! ‘Didn’t think about the result of her evil doing to my niece.  My youngest sister accompanied my niece to her school.  I know my niece.  She doesn’t say anything.  She doesn’t fight back.  She is still young to be dealing with type of conflicts.

If you were in this situation, would you take the cellphone back?  Why and why not?

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Categories: behavior, family, family issues, niece and nephew, parenting

Toddler Tantrums ( Momimhar posted on November 22nd, 2014 )

My husband and I were so disappointed and embarrassed today.  Our darling daughter didn’t cooperate when it was time to take our portraits at the photography studio this afternoon.  I set this appointment to have our family portraits taken because the prints will arrive in about two weeks.  Then we still have time to have our greeting cards for the Holidays.  But we had to cancel because, all of a sudden, our daughter had tantrums.  She didn’t want to go to the photo room.  And worse, she was crying all of a sudden.  We were all dressed up, looking great and then we had to leave because she didn’t compose herself.  She’s feeling fine.  We told her about today’s schedule last night.  Now our weekend was ruined.  Time wasted.  Her daddy was very upset that he let her think about what she did all afternoon.

Then this evening at bedtime I asked why she was crying at the studio.  She said she wanted to go to the playground.  Well, I told her already that I will take her to the playground after the photo shoot and lunch.  She just wanted to get what she wants right there and then.  Well, she has to learn how to wait and be patient.  We have things scheduled and we have to get them done first before we can go have some leisure time.  She apologized to her daddy and me before going to bed.

I don’t know if we can still have the time to get our portraits taken next weekend.  We will be busy traveling for Thanksgiving Day.

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Categories: behavior, family, kids, motherhood, parenting, tantrums, toddler stage

Fun At Kids’ Play Dates ( Momimhar posted on May 17th, 2013 )

Play date with my friend’s kids.

Play dates are essential to young kids’ social and personality development.  When they are socializing and interacting with other kids, their self-confidence is enhanced as well as their ability to handle the reaction to what’s happening around them.  Kids easily meet new acquaintances in play dates, at the playground or play park, at birthday parties, or even in small gathering with friends.

My darling Kaye and I get together either with my cousin or a girl friend.  They have young children whom my little one can play with.  And whenever these kids start playing, it’s all fun, fun, fun!

singing

My darling Kaye and little H were on a duet singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.

One of the activities young children especially toddlers love to do is singing.  They have the appreciation and interest in music.  It comes to them naturally since they were infants.

On the other hand, kids have some a little misunderstandings, too.  When one grabs a toy from the other the chasing and crying start.  But we have to tell them that it’s nice to share or who’s turn to play.  It always work because they listen and understand.  After a while, they go back to playing cheerfully.

I like kids’ play dates.  It’s fun, kids enjoy, and you can build good friendship.

Why Naps Are Very Important ( Momimhar posted on March 14th, 2013 )

I am so happy that I want to cry!  I finally got my darling daughter to nap today since weeks that she resisted taking a nap during the day.  When daddy is off on weekends, he tells her to go in the bedroom to take a nap.  She will go there (well, kinda resisting) and lay on her bed.  Daddy will check on her constantly until she’s got quiet and sleeping.  When it’s my turn to do it, my darling daughter wouldn’t go sleep.  She wants me to snuggle with her.  So I just kept it that way.  Haahh…life of a mom.

We know that naps are very essential to every individual especially to growing children.  A good nap helps regain the energy we used during the day.  It also helps the body rest and build up new cells for growth.   And when kids had their naps, they are in a good mood for the rest of the day.  That is why naps are very important.

Children are great individuals but each one is different.  Their development levels differ from one another.  Some kids are nappers some are not.  But as parents, we should not give up on trying on a good way that will work on putting our kids to nap.  To me, giving a medicine just because my child is very active is not ideal.

Okay, so that was it.  I am just very glad that my little princess had a nap today.  And I will work hard to let her know the concept of taking naps.

Why Kids Throw A Fit? ( Momimhar posted on December 20th, 2012 )

When I was very young, hearing a young kid crying because of tantrums irritate the heck out of me.  I did not understand why kids have to throw really bad fits.  My niece and nephews were the same way when they were toddlers.  Same as me and my siblings when we were little.  That is why we got spanking or pinching when we do that and when we won’t listen to their parents’ comforting us.  Thoughts came running around inside my mind.  Are they spoiled?  Or just getting a lot of attention?

I am a parent now and things like these still get into my nerves.  I totally become a freak like I want to throw something to break.  My daughter just turned 2.  They say that a kids get more and more sensitive to frustration at this age.  That is why terrible two’s comes in the scene.  Well, I guess they are right.  My toddler throws a wild fit.  It frustrates me too because I lose my patience sometimes.  I try to stay cool and calm as long as possible.  What’s difficult is when she does that in public.  When I try to talk to her even in a soft voice, she screams and cry the loudest.  As a first time mom, I don’t know what to do to calm her down.  So I just let her cry and cry.  It makes me feel unhappy.

But why do toddlers throw a fit?

Mainly because their wants are unattended.  Young children are persistent.  They try to be manipulative to get what they want even though they have lots at home.  Example:  toys.

So, what to do?

Well, it’s really complicated because if you got caught in the middle of something in public, you will feel irritable too.  But listening to your toddler is the key to lessen the tension.  Playing deaf won’t help because the situation will just get worse.  Listen, talk, and explain why and why not.  They have to learn that they don’t get everything they want.  Don’t forget to give your child a sweet hug.

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Categories: behavior, child's learning, kids, toddler stage

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